softball on my mind

ok, so this might belong in the more private ranting place(s), but i come here based on the futility of this particular meaningless complaint... i have verbalized it in many ways, more and less politely, to the people involved and it does not appear to make any difference to them, hence, the meaninglessness of this particular complaint (we can clarify the definition of complaint, which is rather different in my language than in the standard dictionary, another time... besides, this is not just about any particular people as a few different groups could easily be examples, though i do use a specific example of actions here... all that to say, this disclaimer is probably not necessary (but probably appropriate to have a meaningless disclaimer in front of yet another meaningless complaint, aye?... inappropriate laughter should follow lol lam laa)...

back to the meaningless complaint of the moment now... ah yes, softball... fundamental catch and throw errors are one thing... i don't expect everyone on the team to have perfect skills... but not practicing between and especially before games and getting the kinks out in the first two innings is annoying and not teamwork... as often as i suggested people do that, a few still will not do that and repeatedly make the same catch and throw errors in early innings... second and shortstop especially... and both play way too deep and give up at least two or three ground ball hits every game that are soft ground ball outs... and then they back away from (or don't bend and block) anything hit hard so a few times a game a ground out goes between their legs or past them as they step out of the way... when short and second are afraid of ground balls, it is tough to be a winning team...

but if that was all that was wrong with the team (teams, actually) i probably would not be waking the next day with softball on my mind... it is not just a weak and scared middle infield, even more, in fact, much more, it is simply not listening to coaching when it is obvious their head is not in the game... like getting picked off by leaving a base on a fly ball when the coach is yelling "come back" or "tag up"... or swinging at ball four when the coach just reminded you "3-1 count, a walk loads the bases" and grounding out or into a double play (why do the slow runners not listen to the fundamental 3-1 take a pitch philosophy more than anyone else?)... but i leap ahead of myself...

so we are playing the best team in the league (by far), a team of mostly the umpires for the league (which isn't really fair but that's besides the point and we can have fun with them anyway), and we are going into the bottom of the sixth inning tied 5-5 (and four of their five runs were gifts on infield errors)... they are up... a few choice errors by the shortstop, one easy ground ball he was playing too deep on and one low ground ball right between his legs, put runners at first and second and nobody out... a couple of bobbles in the outfield and a wild throw, a dropped ball at second, and another infield hit because the middle infielders play too deep and they are up 8-5...

we come up for out last at bat... first batter, #7 in the lineup, gets on, a walk on three pitches... their pitcher getting nervous and throws two balls to the next batter, #8 in the lineup (he usually bats #4 or #5 but was late to the game so doesn't warm up which is becoming a pattern)... i yell out for the whole field to hear "3-1 count, he hasn't thrown a strike yet, take one for the team, a walk loads the bases with no out and brings up the top of the order"... it is not the first time we've been through this... 31 or 3 and 1 is often called out in these situations to remind a batter... base runners are everything in the last inning when down by a few runs... a walk allows the girl behind the batter to walk as well, therein loading the bases and that would bring one of our best hitters to the play, the #1 hitter and top of the lineup... it is simple, fundamental, smart softball...

the batter swings at ball four, a ball dropping in front of the plate, and almost gets thrown out at first but we avoid a double play on an error... on the next play, he is caught off first base for the double play, game over... it is not the first time he did that, simply did not have his head in the game and refused to hear or listen to coaching to lose a game in the last inning... oh well, i keep the joking and positive cheering going on the outside, but inside i am frustrated by the lack of team support... everybody heads home and i go out to dinner with a few of the guys from the other team cuz i play with them on thursday nights... softball is a family kind of thing when you play for years and i know most of the players on the better teams from either playing with them or playing against them often in several different leagues or in tournaments... we enjoy dinner and talk world series and football and life cuz that is what is going on at the sports bar and i sure don't want to relive frustrating lack of obvious fundamentals and teamwork and neither do they...

and then home and watch the end of the world series and football and write some and browse some and respond to messages some and sleep some and here i am, waking at the usual work time on a day off, with softball on my mind... and pondering whether i want to pay for a team that does not play like a team (only seven players paid this season, which means i pay for four slots at $47 each and then pay for my slot as well... the others wanted to take a season off to watch more football so i find subs every week)... paying $200+ for the kind of frustration last night brings is definitely not worth it...

i am not sure why everyone else just accepts losing by fundamental mistakes and deliberate ignoring fundamental winning softball tenets (not to mention coaching), but they may need to find another pitcher next season if i find another team to play for... that would be uncomfortable, yes, but paying $200+ for people who don't listen and don't care is not healthy for me... and this team never goes out socially or practices, just shows up (often late) and rushing home after the game... not really into the social aspect of softball or the fundamentals or learning or teamwork or friendship... seems pretty obvious they are not into softball for the same reasons i am and so, perhaps it is time for a change... i will talk to the core members who are friends and see what they say...

feeling much better now that i thought it through :)

people are so frustrating

especially friends who just disappear or simply stop communicating, even if it's just for a few days it is so frustrating, for me, at least, because i live in the moment and know any moment could be an eternity or the last moment i breath in this body and a few days could be how long it takes for someone to find my corpse if i died, especially over a weekend...

that is one reason the appeal of a compatible roommate appeals just a teeny bit more than the appeal of living alone, but it is not usually enough of a reason... helping or falling in love push the decision forward... i miss falling in love... so much...

but people are so frustrating also because they are so fear-driven and fear repels true love and i am made of true love, so do the math... it is a very lonely journey for one who is made of true love in this fear-based culture... i'd complain about loneliness, but that would be too meaningless even for this blog...

loneliness is another reason the appeal of a compatible roommate appeals just a teeny bit more than the appeal of privacy, but it is not usually enough of a reason... helping or falling in love push the decision forward... i miss falling in love... so much...

pretty weak complaint, huh?...

social status

so i'm flipping through tv stations and find there is a movement in florida to create county level council on the social status of black men and boys meeting in the office of the attorney general in orlando, florida... have we made any real mind-set or perspective progress since the civil war in the south?...

a group who's mission is to look for and point fingers, look for weaknesses, and shout unfair for black men and boys?... is this legitimate affirmative action (affirm is a positive term, right?) or is it a veiled way of castrating men and boys in and of itself?... is the perspective to pity and organize people to help black men and boys because they can't effectively take care of themselves?...

people are so tied up in social status, so in love with the victim mindset, so kind to similarities and opportunities to bridges gaps and come together, so comfortable with segregation and pity parties and pointing fingers... so what we've got is a group of mostly very overweight people trying to find money (and justification to get the money) from government (taxes) to get some excitement going to organize local groups with a purpose of studying the social status of black men and boys...

the chairperson of this council is the Director, Office of Supplier Diversity, Department of management Services... is this bureacracy gone made or a real need seeking a real solution for a real problem?... perhaps the underlying source of the concerns is the very attitude that black men and boys need local government groups to promote their social status, inherently setting black men and boys apart as inferior and "needing help" based solely on race and gender...

not racism?...

i wish people would stop judging people based soley on race or gender... but that is the culture we live in and the people in power support it because it keeps the majority of people in divided social groups feeling needy with a hand out for help instead of empowered and united as human beings...

sigh...