softball on my mind

ok, so this might belong in the more private ranting place(s), but i come here based on the futility of this particular meaningless complaint... i have verbalized it in many ways, more and less politely, to the people involved and it does not appear to make any difference to them, hence, the meaninglessness of this particular complaint (we can clarify the definition of complaint, which is rather different in my language than in the standard dictionary, another time... besides, this is not just about any particular people as a few different groups could easily be examples, though i do use a specific example of actions here... all that to say, this disclaimer is probably not necessary (but probably appropriate to have a meaningless disclaimer in front of yet another meaningless complaint, aye?... inappropriate laughter should follow lol lam laa)...

back to the meaningless complaint of the moment now... ah yes, softball... fundamental catch and throw errors are one thing... i don't expect everyone on the team to have perfect skills... but not practicing between and especially before games and getting the kinks out in the first two innings is annoying and not teamwork... as often as i suggested people do that, a few still will not do that and repeatedly make the same catch and throw errors in early innings... second and shortstop especially... and both play way too deep and give up at least two or three ground ball hits every game that are soft ground ball outs... and then they back away from (or don't bend and block) anything hit hard so a few times a game a ground out goes between their legs or past them as they step out of the way... when short and second are afraid of ground balls, it is tough to be a winning team...

but if that was all that was wrong with the team (teams, actually) i probably would not be waking the next day with softball on my mind... it is not just a weak and scared middle infield, even more, in fact, much more, it is simply not listening to coaching when it is obvious their head is not in the game... like getting picked off by leaving a base on a fly ball when the coach is yelling "come back" or "tag up"... or swinging at ball four when the coach just reminded you "3-1 count, a walk loads the bases" and grounding out or into a double play (why do the slow runners not listen to the fundamental 3-1 take a pitch philosophy more than anyone else?)... but i leap ahead of myself...

so we are playing the best team in the league (by far), a team of mostly the umpires for the league (which isn't really fair but that's besides the point and we can have fun with them anyway), and we are going into the bottom of the sixth inning tied 5-5 (and four of their five runs were gifts on infield errors)... they are up... a few choice errors by the shortstop, one easy ground ball he was playing too deep on and one low ground ball right between his legs, put runners at first and second and nobody out... a couple of bobbles in the outfield and a wild throw, a dropped ball at second, and another infield hit because the middle infielders play too deep and they are up 8-5...

we come up for out last at bat... first batter, #7 in the lineup, gets on, a walk on three pitches... their pitcher getting nervous and throws two balls to the next batter, #8 in the lineup (he usually bats #4 or #5 but was late to the game so doesn't warm up which is becoming a pattern)... i yell out for the whole field to hear "3-1 count, he hasn't thrown a strike yet, take one for the team, a walk loads the bases with no out and brings up the top of the order"... it is not the first time we've been through this... 31 or 3 and 1 is often called out in these situations to remind a batter... base runners are everything in the last inning when down by a few runs... a walk allows the girl behind the batter to walk as well, therein loading the bases and that would bring one of our best hitters to the play, the #1 hitter and top of the lineup... it is simple, fundamental, smart softball...

the batter swings at ball four, a ball dropping in front of the plate, and almost gets thrown out at first but we avoid a double play on an error... on the next play, he is caught off first base for the double play, game over... it is not the first time he did that, simply did not have his head in the game and refused to hear or listen to coaching to lose a game in the last inning... oh well, i keep the joking and positive cheering going on the outside, but inside i am frustrated by the lack of team support... everybody heads home and i go out to dinner with a few of the guys from the other team cuz i play with them on thursday nights... softball is a family kind of thing when you play for years and i know most of the players on the better teams from either playing with them or playing against them often in several different leagues or in tournaments... we enjoy dinner and talk world series and football and life cuz that is what is going on at the sports bar and i sure don't want to relive frustrating lack of obvious fundamentals and teamwork and neither do they...

and then home and watch the end of the world series and football and write some and browse some and respond to messages some and sleep some and here i am, waking at the usual work time on a day off, with softball on my mind... and pondering whether i want to pay for a team that does not play like a team (only seven players paid this season, which means i pay for four slots at $47 each and then pay for my slot as well... the others wanted to take a season off to watch more football so i find subs every week)... paying $200+ for the kind of frustration last night brings is definitely not worth it...

i am not sure why everyone else just accepts losing by fundamental mistakes and deliberate ignoring fundamental winning softball tenets (not to mention coaching), but they may need to find another pitcher next season if i find another team to play for... that would be uncomfortable, yes, but paying $200+ for people who don't listen and don't care is not healthy for me... and this team never goes out socially or practices, just shows up (often late) and rushing home after the game... not really into the social aspect of softball or the fundamentals or learning or teamwork or friendship... seems pretty obvious they are not into softball for the same reasons i am and so, perhaps it is time for a change... i will talk to the core members who are friends and see what they say...

feeling much better now that i thought it through :)

ted turner broadcasting

i don't know if it is ted turner himself who is the psychotic control freak deluded with religious fears of sexuality and realism in movies but the television stations he created have destroyed so many good films by editing and re-editing until they are artistic nightmares made of chopped up scenes and hacked-job cuts that would be laughed at by professionals in the industry and are flat out insulting to the original film crew, actors, editors, director, and others who worked on the film (some of whom won academy awards for the original film before it was 'edited for television'...

just happened on to total recall on tnt... pathetic... criminal, even, or should be... there really ought to be a law protecting art from such incompetent, talentless, deliberate vandalism by people with a religious agenda... would it be ok to paint over the mona lisa or change the last supper painting?... so why is it ok to change the editing of a film?...

human beings destroy, that is what they are best at... sad, really...

ucf football

yes, ucf football inspires this latest meaningless complaint (and i really wish they wouldn't but i've just gotta let it out after the second straight give-away nobody-really-wants-to-win sloppy unintelligent performance)...

define losers... players who do not show enough effort to win... players who stand around watching the other team out-hustle them... players who give up... i watch a few losers in the secondary tonight... it is one thing to simply not have the skills... the receivers showed that they did not have the speed to outrun the other team's secondary by getting catch a few times... the quarterback showed he did not have the skill to lead a wide open receiver by under-throwing two easy touchdown passes so the receivers were catch by the defense... the defensive line showed they were not strong enough to stop an offensive line and runner who wanted it more... the defensive end and the special teams showed they do not know how to stay in their lanes and prevent a runner from turning the corner... all those things are skills you either have or develop or do not have or develop... but giving up, stop hustling and hitting, that makes a loser...

so the ucf football follies gave away a game they should have won for the second week in a row showing they are not championship material and are far from ready to play with the big boys... they made it easy for a team that is not really that good to win, again... so while they were expected to walk through their conference and still might, they are not a top twenty five contender by a long shot... could not handle the spotlight, perhaps... or simply just didn't want it enough... i watched the defense give up, especially the secondary who appeared to not want to hit anybody and watched runners come at them instead of rushing up and helping the defensive line and linebackers... definitely not the defensive team i heard about... and the offence, what can we say... afraid?... sloppy for sure... the most fundamental mistakes that you see really poor middle school teams make... too much ego, not enough teamwork, not enough football sense... coaching?... gotta be part of it, but just as much it is lack of football intelligence cuz some of the mistakes are the most basic football skills (like don't try to over-the-shoulder catch a bouncing ball punt inside your ten yard line or don't try to dance your way through five defenders with the ball on your hip and don't waste the clock, for three)... really bad clock management is coaching... so whatever, i have a lot of trouble getting behind a team and coaching like i watched tonight... lack of effort, lack of football intelligence, lack of any real desire to win... sad, cuz i'd like to feel a lot better about the home team...

get it together coach, you are accountable... i'll be rooting for you next week...

pain in the neck, but that's beside the point

yeah, i have a pain in the neck and it's nagging and getting worse over time, but what i really came here to complain about is you, that is, people in general... people are so pathetically stupid... and maybe it's just time passing in this life (getting old?) but i have less and less patience for people with each passing year... it took me many years to fit in (and i don't really, but i definitely do many stupid things regularly and often just like most people)... it's the daily choice to commit suicide in little actions, poisons, laziness, ignoring obvious dangers, cruelty, and becoming so insensitive you don't know when you are being insensitive, which is just about all the time... yes, that's just about all people and sadly i can now include myself...

i am most disappointing in younger people... i thought that even as one generation grew older and stupider, younger generations would not buy into the conformity of insensitivity and suicidal behaviors and might find hope for life, but more and more i see kids buying into the death traps of modern humanity... whatever happened to the hippie mentality?... not that hi[ppies were all that smart, but the hope of living in a loving world where people could learn to not grow insensitive and suicidal, where did that hope and mindset go?...

it sure wasn't passed on to subsequent generations...

so sad...

google changes blogger

just marking the milestone for myself and wondering how long i'll gamble my babbling on public servers before i finally move my written gardens to my own server... so i came to see the new google interface and half the features they told me to look for in their google buzz and blogger in draft posts are not visible, so maybe they jumped the gune again (like constantly coaxing me to click on the google+ links when they won't let me in to check google+ out which, naturally, leaves a very bad taste in my mouth about google+ and google in general... ah, i see, you have to be in a certain mode, HTML or Compose (I can't tell which one i'm in because the contrast on the new site really sucks, it's so blandly grey... that's it, i figured out what i do not like most about the new blogger interface... it's the lack of contrast... i'll tell them since they have a feedback button... if they respond, maybe the bad taste will not be so sour... hope they fix that...

google plus minus me

google plus is really ticking me off... i keep clicking on links that take me to a page that someone talking to me online on facebook or somewhere referred me to and find myself on google plus, only i can't do anything there because i am not a google plus approved member or whatever it takes to get in there and it's wasting my time...

whenever google plus does open their doors to me, i might go in, but this bad taste in my mouth will go with me...

u.s. politics

philosophically there is a difference between the parties, but actions override philosophy and ideals and the actions of the u.s. government over the past thirty years have been hawkish, aggressive, greedy, and bent on world-domination... sheepskin does not change the wolf... we elect politicians, but business interests control them regardless of party affiliation... especially at the top... until we unite against the real enemy, greed and the fear-mongering and divisive finger-pointing that distracts from the greed, we will, just as many empires have before us, continue as a nation down the path of self-destruction from within...

beware of groupon

that is groupon, a good idea but a website and company that is not to be trusted because they secretly install something on your computer that creates links on your web pages that create pop-ups advertising the groupons... very not right... and the virus software and windows software and all the protections on this new computer didn't stop it... very sneaky...

it took me a while to figure out why my web pages, even my personal web pages, were altered... hopefully it is not viable from other computers because using my personal web pages to advertise their site would be very unethical... and should be illegal...

if you check out their site, which is a good idea, make sure you email their support people first to find out how not to become a shill for their business without knowing...

media whores

sometimes it's just too obvious... for the first time in many months, maybe longer, i turned on the tv to see the news because i have no clue what evidence was presented in the casey anthony trial and i was curious to see just how stupid people are and how masterfully the media once again jerked off the public to create a feeding frenzy just to sell their sponsor's products... and based on the choices the people and their handlers made, leading the way today are...

jay leno - in a pathetic attempt to be funny, is too egocentric to admit he bombed...

nancy grace - who?... an sarah palin without the fake smile?...

WKMG Orlando - vultures standing around in front of the courthouse, in front of casey's home, rallying the lynch mob with lines like "this is where the action is"... yes, they said that in front of casey's home...

CNN - fooling so many like TNT and TBS and the rest of the turner empire (whether he still officially owns it or not) by pandering to the ignorant trashy low-life prejudices inside so many in this land of the free...

and of course, everything FOX - the ruppert maddox empire of mass destruction... his weapons, your fear and love of hating... you don't care who you hate, just so long as you can hate someone... it gives you a sense of community, of belonging, just like religion...

a delusional justification for a lynch mob mentality...

jay just couldn't wait to stick it to casey anthony, using her to try to be clever, something he so rarely is even with the tonight show writers (though i think the best left not long after johnny retired)... and when the audience sat there silently he did not show any respect or find a clue, he asked if his mike was working, the oldest most pathetic bit of desperation a comic grasps at to bully an audience into applauding after he repeats it... so typical of an insensitive egomaniac... or a republican...

who the fuck is nancy grace?... she comes off as a clown faced know-it-all who epitomizes the adage if you can't do, you critique and represents the worst whoring of the legal profession... she will say anything to get an audience and panders to the lowest ignorance and fear-based hatred in insecure people... she is a master baiter, a masturbating her audience of melodrama junkies with finger-pointing and table turning arguments so typical of the religious right culture that has god to defend them so they don't have to be held accountable for their gross irresponsibility and hypocrisy... the only reason i even heard of her is as one more self-righteous angry nobody waging her tail chasing the casey anthony bandwagon...

my dog makes more sense...

and then we come to the right wing media, the fair and balanced news corporations, which, whether we acknowledge it or not, includes CNN cuz, well, have you ever seen what ted turner does to movies?... control freaks think they know what everybody else needs and their blatent patronization of the stupidity so many wear as a badge of honor... fat jobless irrational pathetic people with obviously no lives to live of their own chanting appeal outside of the courthouse and the news media soaks it up... irresponsible parents bringing their children to the spot the decaying skeleton corpse of a child was found, innocent children exposed to the news media wondering what the depressing emo-circus is about, the emotional abuse carved into their helpless mindless faces...

and everyone except the judge and jury so certain she is guilty... everyone except the unbiased people who actually saw the evidence that the state, in all it's arrogant cockiness, presented... everyone except those who actually know acts astonished that those who actually weighed the evidence without emotion of the lynch mob mentality americans so dearly love could possibly come to a fair verdict...

and now, the news media will milk the aftermath, the tragedy... the noble fourth estate will haunt the mother who lost her daughter and the parents and anyone who dares consider that the evidence proved beyond reasonable doubt that there was reasonable doubt that she did it... americans addicted to watching other people's pain and suffering, maybe that's why we kill so many women and children all over the world every day, we are junkies for the pain, the tragedy, the suffering victims... so addicted are we that we must create victims just to find villains to hate...

pathetic human waste...

overworked, underpaid, still overfed

the most meaningless complaint of all may be this one, that i work too much and am not appreciated nearly enough in the most tangible way, though the appreciation of respect and non-material thanks has improved dramatically in this year (am i finally getting through to them?... well, all but one and a half i think)... and yet, the poverty line come closer every year and still, the body bloats a bit more when saving on the foods would be wise for body, mind, and wallet...

see?... i don't even have my heart in this complaint...

see ya next time...

cars

i drive a twelve year old car, a chevy cavelier... it needs a tune up, a new clutch, new tires, and other work... and it gets better gas than most of the new cars being sold as 2011 or 2012 cars... ridiculous... the car manufacturers are so very irresponsible and government is worse for not forcing the manufacvturers to improve gas mileage... it can be done... it is being done on a very few cars sold at higher prices because they are scarce because the manufacturers will not mass produce the technology that privides 50mpg and better...

let's not even get started on the lack of effort to produce alternative fuel cars... the government allows ecologically criminal and economically unethical practices and all but the very consumers suffer...

i am part of the problem... i could choose to live in a place where i do not need a car, but i choose to live in a car-dependant suburb... my choices in life have not provided the income to buy a nissan leaf or even a toyota prius, so i am hunting for a car within my budget which leaves me with choices that are not as economical as the twelve year old car i drive... adding to the challenge is the lack of availability of economy cars, at least in this area... i visited six large dealers today and found less than ten economy cars, a few dealers had none, new or used...

so philosophically, scientifically, ecologically, ethically, and practically the auto industry in this country is a clear sign of the corruption, confusion, and suicidal thinking that goes into the decision making in this modern world... we, as a species, do not do what we can do to improve our chances of survival... natural selection will eliminate us from the life cycle of the planet unless we wise up and start making decisions and taking actions that will improve our chances for survival on this planet... simple as that...

you want to live?...

fears

i am just so tired of human fears it leads me to mentally give up on humanity moment from time to time more and more of late... with each passing year, human fears sadden, frustrate, and irritate me more than my hope for humanity keeps me loving and caring about people... in the last six years i changed jobs to have less daily direct therapeutic interactions and more investigative, research, and reporting interactions so i am still caring and helping people, just not dealing directly with their fears as much as i used to...

from the global level to the daily, human allow fears to destroy, undermine, confuse, and waste life... more than anything else, fear creates stupidity and allows people to be manipulated and controlled by government and whatever other institutions are in power... and laws are passed based on the government desire to control people based on these fears... government stimulates specific fears to push people to follow a specific path...

one day i may express a bit more on this...

corporate america

as if it is news, corporate america does not care and for the second time in this life i am caught in the rat race running in circles always falling behind because the man always wants more than what was produced yesterday not understanding or believing there can be any limits on growth or productivity... is that the root cause for the fall of every empire and civilization, the refusal to accept optimal balance, the active pursuit of the competitive edge and more more more?... does that stem from an insecure ego, fear of idle time, a lack of creativity, or simply pure greed?...

is it the same where you live?...